For Rhuine Read online

  “That's so funny Madi. There's no one there. Suzy is a scaredy cat,” Melody said as she ran after Suzy. “Scaredy cat! Scaredy cat!” she sing-songed after her.

  Ranga, the stray cat, named after an orangutan, because of his wild orange hair of course, lifted his head lazily at the sudden noise and glared around the room like he was annoyed that we woke him up. He got up on his paws, stretched and cocked his head up to the boy on the rafter. A strange noise came from his throat before he stretched himself and left the room. Did Ranga see the boy? Ranga never makes a sound unless it’s to hiss at someone. I’ve never heard him make that kind of sound before. Mom better not see him or I'll be in trouble. That crazy cat just won't stay outside.

  “Scaredy cat! Scaredy cat!” I copied, running after Mel and Suzy when I remembered that they were still in my house.

  Just before I closed my room door I looked up at the rafter but the boy was already gone.

  FIFTEEN YEARS OLD

  I hurried into my room and pushed the wooden chair against it quickly, almost slamming Ranga in between the door and the wall. Mom doesn’t allow me to have a key, ever since she caught me sneaking out at night. I skipped toward my bed. It was covered in my favorite pink skull candy cover. Tipping my black backpack, I emptied its contents onto my bed. Melody knows where to get the best stuff. Ranga jumps onto my bed and makes himself comfortable. He is probably getting lice all over my comforter. “Shoo!” I call, waving my hands at him. The crazy asshole cat hisses and bats a claw at my hand. He is a wild one, no wonder he has a new tear in his ear. I bet he had another fight with that black cat from next door. Ranga walks straight across the pretty stuff I just dumped on my bed. The stolen, pretty stuff.

  The lady at Masquerade with her pink hippie glasses is more interested in her gossip magazines, than watching her shop. Nabbing stuff from there is so easy. It's her own fault for being stupid.

  I pick up the silver rose ring, and the skull token on a leather cord, from my pile and walk over to my mirror. I slip the ring on and admire it for a second. I love the way it sparkles in the sunlight coming through my bedroom window. I give a little squeal of delight. I can't believe I did this! It was so much fun. The way my heart raced as I watched Melody slipping a ring of the same design into her own bag. My heart thumped wildly as I did the same. I'd never stolen anything before.

  I pulled at the little slip loop of the leather necklace to make it big enough to slip over my head.

  “I wouldn't do that if I were you,” the boy called from the top rafter of my bedroom ceiling.

  “Oh, shut up! You wouldn't do anything.”

  I gave him a nasty look in the mirror and saw him grin. Wow, he was so much older now. A teenager just like me. When was the last time I saw him? Five years ago?

  The guy's blazing blue eyes twinkled brightly as his grin grew wider. He jumped and landed soundlessly on my wooden floor. He walked toward me slowly. His legs moved without a whisper of movement. It’s like being stalked while watching your favorite show on the TV. Dangerous and blissfully unaware. My stomach fluttered with nervous excitement.

  I watched him carefully as he circled around my back. His gaze trained on the necklace in my hand. His eyes lifted suddenly and caught mine in the mirror. His stare burned and shone a bright magnetic blue. I couldn't look away. Each second I was trapped in his stare made me feel more at peace, my heart was beating like a wild thing in my chest. Something was wrong with this picture and I didn't know what it was.

  “One of these days you'll listen Madeleine and then it'll be too late,” he purred.

  His voice was soft, but loud. Warm, but chilling me to the bone. The fine hairs on the back of my neck lifted and swayed from an unseen force. All the warning signs were there. The message was clear, but my teenage brain didn't quite grasp the danger I was in. I couldn't run even if I wanted to. I didn't want to run. I wanted to stay right there with him, forever.

  The boy stretched his neck from side to side, looking at me from different angles. The black swirls on his face were individual inky streaks now and I could see that they sat further down than the last time I saw him. They seemed to be crawling down his face toward his neck. The swirls that covered his forehead were now gone. He didn't look like an Indian with face paint on anymore. He looked like a guy with tattoos on his face. I know that doesn’t sound very attractive but on him it looked good. Really good.

  The boy hissed in warning from behind me and I shifted my eyes to his. Immediately I was pulled toward them again. The twin orbs burned, his gaze consumed my mind and destroyed my will. That's a heck of a lot of brain mush for a teenage girl to cope with. I shook my head trying to clear it a little and pinched my eyes closed. When I opened them again, the guy was gone. He always disappears. Whatever-

  “Hey, Madi-

  “Shit, Luke!” My phone clatters to the ground.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you okay?” Luke rubs the back of his head sheepishly.

  He’s the security guard here at Green Hill. He’s probably come to send me inside. It must be close to dinner time.

  “I’m fine. Don’t sneak up on me like that. I’m crazy remember.” I bend over to pick up my phone. “I could’ve killed you with this phone and no one would’ve blamed me. Straight up ninja-vied your ass. Text you to death or something.” I wave my phone in front of him. I can't help but smile at the shocked look on Luke's face.

  Luke drops his gaze and scuffs his foot on the ground. Shit, I was only joking with the guy. Not everyone shares my kind of humor, obviously.

  “You come to send me inside?” I don’t mind awkward silences, Luke can stand here all night, staring at the ground if he wants. But I do mind that he is keeping me away from my assignment. And now that I'm no longer reading I can really feel the chill in the air.

  “Yes. It’s dinner time. Nurse Theresa sent me to get you.” Luke finally looks up and meets my eyes.

  I wouldn’t have really attacked him with my phone. I'm not that crazy. Why do I even care what Luke thinks? I guess after eleven months Green Hill, and its people, are finally growing on me. I really hope not.

  “Let’s go then,” I say.

  I suppress a groan when my stiff back aches and strains from the sudden change in position. I wrap my coat around me tighter. It’s freezing out here. If Luke didn’t come get me, I would’ve turned into a Madi popsicle. At least I'd be lick-a-licious. Ha! I'm so lame and if anybody besides Rhuine tried to lick me, I probably will assault them with or without my phone.

  Luke waits for me to lead the way and then falls in behind. He whistles merrily as we make the walk across the drive way. When we get to the door, he rushes forward and holds it open for me. He’s such a sweetheart, but I don’t thank him. I don’t even acknowledge his silly gesture. Promises are promises, even if that person is no longer in my life.

  The food hall is already packed with patients. There’s a dull hum of voices as they talk softly amongst themselves. We are fairly quiet for fifty or so deranged people in one room. Luke disappears behind the serving counter and takes an apron from Sarah. Sarah is the cook at Green Hill and she makes a killer cherry pie. It’s about the only thing that’s edible in this place. Sadly we only get it on Sunday’s.

  I hold my tray out to Luke and he places a plate with some kind of stew on it. I can’t help it, my lip curls back and I pull my puke face at him. He chuckles softly under his breath. Luke’s eyes dart to the left quickly and mine follow automatically. There, next to the cheapo-juice boxes, is a small plate covered with a serviette. I know he wants me to take it, so I snatch it up quickly. I grab a juice and walk my food over to my usual table.

  There are three other people at my table. Joey, the guy who I thought was Rhuine. He’s kind of emo, was addicted to meth and is obviously totally “misunderstood”. He’s currently in his eleventh month of his evaluation and should be free to leave soon, or so he hopes. I’m not so sure, how long can an evaluation take? I think the fact
that Luke caught him sneaking out a few times has something to do with his very long evaluation. Apparently robbing a toy store while high as a kite is not a crime. Especially if you use a toy gun, but sneaking out while your mental stability is being checked, is. I’m going to miss Joey when he leaves. He is the only one that gets my music and he is my friend, sort of.

  I bumped into him outside when I’d just come back from the North Wing. I spent a whole month there after my suicide attempt. Joey was having an argument with Luke, who tried to take away his iPod. Joey can’t function without his music. He gets the shakes and everything. Okay, maybe not that bad, but he gets very, very grumpy. But Green Hill works on a rewards system, behave and you get a reward. Mess up really bad, and you go to the North Wing. Joey got his music the very next day after weeding the entire front garden of Green Hill.

  No one greets me when I take my seat next to Joey. They aren’t angry at me, that’s just the way we are. Angie cleans her fork by polishing it on her shirt. She’s probably getting more germs on it that way, but I’m not telling her that. She’s a germ freak! She doesn’t touch anyone or anything. She showers with her underwear and flip flops on – total nutter.

  Genevieve bounces in her chair and I know she’s just itching to tell me something. She’s always talking. The only reason she’s quiet right now is because someone at the table probably told her to shut up. She wrings her hands and her eyes start to twitch. One, Two-

  “Madi!”

  See? I didn’t even make it to three.

  “Yes, Gen?”

  “What’s that?” she asks excitedly while pointing at the serviette covered plate.

  “I don’t know, but you can have it.” Luke always gives me an extra plate with something for Ranga. Sometimes there's an extra piece of pie for me. I don't know why he does it, he just does. I push the small plate over to her and she smiles brightly. I'm going to bust a gut if it's cat food for Ranga. Genevieve lifts the serviette and her eyes light up brighter than the Vegas strip. Crap, it’s not cat food.

  “Cake Madi! It’s cake!”

  Double crap, likes she needs anymore sugar in that hyped up system of hers. I force a smile at her while she picks at the frosting. I wasn’t going to eat it any way. I don't want Luke sneaking me food and getting the wrong idea. Ranga's food I don't mind, it's for him, not me. And I made a promise, Luke has no business being so nice to me. Where did he get cake anyway? I try to recall if one of the nurse’s had a birthday, but I come up with nothing. That’s what I get for tuning people out most of the time. I don’t really care anyway.

  I take a very small bite of the stew and immediately gag. It’s not that Sarah’s food is that bad really. I just can’t seem to eat anything but her cherry pie. I sip my juice instead. Right now, Evie’s health shake is looking very appetizing.

  Evie suffers from anorexia. She is not the friendliest person here, but neither am I. So who am I to judge? I just hope she gets better soon. When I was admitted to Green Hill, Evie was already here, so was Genevieve. Evie seemed to get better, but now, she just looks lost. I’ve heard her cry at night. She’s not a happy girl. I’m not the type of person that helps other people, I can’t even help myself. But when she cries like that, I want to help her. I wonder why she’s so sad.

  Joey gets up from the table to dump his tray and I follow him before Genevieve starts her happy chappy chatter again.

  “What’s up, Madi?” Joey asks when I fall in next to him.

  I shrug.

  “You came in with Luke?” Joey has a very intense stare on him. Every time those amber orbs focus on me, it reminds me so much of Rhuine that my friggin’ heart just falls apart, into those million shattered pieces that… Just. Won’t. Stay. Together. Anymore.

  “He rescued me from becoming a popsicle. I was sitting outside. Lost track of time.”

  I don’t really have to explain to him. I don’t owe Joey anything. He might be my friend now, but by next week he might be gone. I explain anyway because I don’t want him asking too many questions. I don’t want to answer any question as to why I get extra food from Luke, either. I don't want Ranga to be sent away. Tonight isn’t the first time that he’s given me something other than cat food and the other patients are starting to notice. Luke knows I hate the food here. He also knows I don’t want his charity or kindness, and that seems to make him try harder. I don’t need a damn hero.

  Joey moves his black beanie around on his head and waits for me to put down my tray. We both stand, looking at the floor for a moment. He clears his throat and then he just walks away from me. Joey is good like that. He doesn't make things awkward. Me, on the other hand, I can make things awkward as hell, because I like looking at Joey. At his face, his back, heck even that tight little ass of his. He reminds me so much ... Stop it!

  I spin around and my shoes squeak loudly. A horrible shiver runs down my spine and I have to shake my hands out extra hard. Shit! I hate that damn sound. If I ever leave this place I won’t miss these damn floors. The next steps I take are much slower, much more calculated. Squeak and dirty thought free.

  The door to my room is already open. It’s only a couple of minutes until lock down. Yes, our doors get locked at night, this is a mental institution after all. It’s one of the reasons why Joey hurried away like he did. He doesn’t want to miss his opportunity to have a last cigarette before our customary nine hours of solitude.

  I kick my shoes off and get comfortable on my bed with its all white bedding. The only color we have in this place is the puke green tiles that I hate so much. Luke will be along soon to lock me up for the night. I put my pillow against the iron head board of the single bed and settle against it.

  “Night Madi,” Joey calls from my door. He’s just two doors down from me, on the other side of Evie. Genevieve is in the room on my other side. Angie in the room next to that.

  “Night,” I say, trying to get my phone out of my jean pocket while laying on the bed and looking at him.

  Joey gives me a single grin before moving off to his room. It's a sexy grin with just the one side of his mouth curved up wards, but his eyes are cold. Joey always manages to look naughty and just a little bit dangerous when he does it. I hear him talking to someone softly and then Ranga trots into my room. He kinda looks harassed.

  “No,” I say, shaking my finger at the deranged cat, who is no doubt coming from Joey’s room. Ranga pauses mid crouch and hisses at me. He isn't even supposed to be in here. His yellow eyes glare at me for a second longer before he slinks out of my room. Cocky ass cat. He better hope Luke doesn't find him. That damn cat walks around here like he owns the place. The other day I heard Sarah complaining that he was in the kitchen. It's not my fault that Ranga showed up here, he has a mind of his own. No one tells him what to do, but if he’s not careful he is going to end up at the pound. And I don't want that. I’m glad that Ranga showed up here. It’s like having a piece of “home” with me, even if “home” didn’t want me anymore, he still felt I was good enough to stick around with.

  The next moment Genevieve’s loud voice echoes down the passage.

  “Don’t lock it please, Luke,” she pleads loudly. She does this every night.

  “Sorry, Gen. You know I have to. Did Nurse Theresa give you your meds?” Luke’s voice is soft. He really cares about the patients here.

  “Yes, but they haven’t kicked in yet. Just a couple of more minutes. Please?” Genevieve's voice wobbles a little at the end. She is terrified of the dark. She's such a chipper girl in the day, but come night time and you can see her disappearing into herself. She's always watching the corners and dark spots. Almost like me, but I actually want to see something lurking in the shadows. Nothing would make me happier than a pair of luminous blue eyes watching me from the dark corners of my room.

  Luke will lock all the doors then go back to hers. I haven’t seen it firsthand of course. I’d be locked in mine by then. But I can hear it.

  Luke grabs the handle on my door and I
watch him. I’m not afraid to be alone. I had a crazy boy watch me for twenty-one years. Nothing can beat that. Luke nods his head at me and the door clicks shut. A second later, the lock turns and a sudden panic hits me. I forgot my bathroom stop. I always do this! I hear Luke at Joey’s door and then he must move further on because the sounds get quieter. I'll have to wait and call him when he comes back for Genevieve's door.

  I open the document on my phone. Luke still has the whole top floor to do before he comes back to lock Genevieve's door. And I need every available second to finish my assignment before Monday. I’m the queen of procrastination.

  TWENTY YEARS OLD

  Trent's hands were rough on my naked skin. They roamed freely under my shirt. Over my belly, my sides, up higher on my ribs toward my breasts. They created a sensation I'd never felt before. I arched my back and pressed my fevered skin harder against his hands. I was panting, so easily excited. Not only from what we were doing, but from the thrill of knowing just who Trent was.